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Embrace Imperfection

So. Here I am…

Trudging my way back into the blogging world, hanging my head and already feeling that twinge of shame that comes from missing a deadline.

April 1: blog re-launch. That kinda-sorta-didn’t really happen.

On the surface, it came and went silently. Internally though, I was punishing myself like crazy. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I meet a simple, self-imposed deadline? What does this say about me? About my business? How is everyone going to see me now? Why do I even try? I’m a terrible blogger/internet… person… thing. So much self doubt, so much comparison, so much imperfection. That was a scary word. Imperfection.

It wasn’t lack of want or lack of try that stopped me from meeting my blog relaunch date. It was lack of confidence, a wee bit of laziness (it was an exhausting work-heavy winter), but above all else, it was lack of perfection that was doing me in. My logo isn’t perfect, my layout isn’t perfect, my photography isn’t perfect, my writing isn’t perfect, X Y Z isn’t perfect.

To me, imperfection = failure.

Cue epiphany.

Obviously, this is nothing earth shattering. Much as our brains try to trick us out of it, our common sense tells us we can’t be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. Yet, as a creative, I find myself always pushing myself to my limits to achieve this unattainable status. Especially with this blog. I felt like I had this reputation to live up to, some measure of expectation to be met, and instead of allowing myself to freely create – as this blog was originally intended for – I got scared. That aforementioned common sense? Oh, it kicked in and it shouted at me loud and clear: “you’re not perfect!” But I took it in the wrong way.

The problem here isn’t knowing that perfection is impossible and knowing you can never achieve it, but it’s allowing yourself to happily embrace imperfection and rid it of its negative connotations.

“Imperfect” feels like a negative word. Being imperfect can seem like failure, defeat, like a hole that you never want to emerge from. It was safer, easier, to simply hide than face imperfection.

Right now, this is me declaring my flaws and looking that fear in the face. This is me teaching myself to simply let the journey unfold, cuts and scraps and face plants all the way. Because that’s what this blog is. It’s not a finished product, and it’s not clean and shiny and sparkling. It’s a work in progress. Much like myself. An ever-evolving entity. A moment in time.

This blog may not be the glowing spot of immediate awesomeness I originally envisioned. But that’s okay. I’m happy that it’s not. I’m allowing myself space to breath, to grow, to create and to evolve. And that’s what you can expect from k. 2.0. Me, embracing my sloppy, candid, organic, authentic, disorganised imperfections and not giving three shakes of a lamb’s tail if they’re”good” or “right” or “proper”. Screw that. Imperfection is a positive thing, and something I intend to embrace wholeheartedly going forward.

x

What up, ya'll?

So uh, hi guys. I guess I have some explaining to do, huh? Because life and all that stuff got a little crazy/hectic/stressful/less than perfect, and what did I do? I retreated into my bubble of solitude like I always do. And I stayed there. Waaaay too long. 2013 was the most incredible, stressful, challenging, life-changing, and mind-blowingly awesome year. There were extremely high highs, and crushingly low lows. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was a year of really digging deep and figuring out who I am, and for once in my life, really embracing and being 100% okay with that person.

Along the way, I kinda fell out of my blogging groove (14 months of radio silence, I’m looking at you). I felt uninspired, worthless, not good enough, and generally just felt mopey and sorry for myself among other lame excuses. And you know what? That’s just super uncool and it’s time to shake that. Re-invigorate. Re-fresh.

And that’s what I’m doing. For the first time in months I’ve felt energised and excited to give this blogging thing another go.

To the handful of you who didn’t forget me and shared your love and support through my absence – really, it means more than I can say. Because I didn’t forget about you.
Thank you for listening to my babbles and sorry excuses and thank you for not giving up on me.

So here’s to giving this another try. I have ideas, I have plans… but first, that aforementioned refresh. And new year, a new go around, a whole new k. blog. Stay tuned, and…

See ya, April 1!

P.S. Until the re-launch, keep in touch on twitter and/or instagram.

31.12.12
Here’s to 2013

A little new year`s wish from me to you... (A friend sent me this quotation on a postcard a few years ago and it's a favourite of mine, especially for this time of year.)

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful. And don't forget to make some art -- write or dream or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. -- Neil Gaiman

Here's to 2013. May it be your best year ever. xo

It's December 20th... and despite this constant rain and unnaturally warm weather, I'm feelin' the festive. (Though it looks and feels very un-festive around these parts. Come on, Mother Nature. This is Canada. Show us a hint of the frosty stuff!

But I love me some Christmas, so I persevere... and here's how I've been getting in the Christmassy spirit.


Holiday tunes - check. She & Him's Christmas album is a favourite, as is Brooke White's White Christmas - new fave!

Dorky patterned socks - check. I just really like penguins on skates, polar bears on sleds, and santas with candy canes, okay?

Chalk doodlings - check. (...la la la LA)

And... the mini tree with lotsa white, sparkle, and animals of course.

On that note, wishing you all a happy holiday with your friends, family and loved ones. I'm off to visit my family tomorrow and will be back in the new year!

Peace out and see you in 2012 (whaaaaat!)


P.S. I’ve been pretty lucky over the last couple weeks with my little blog here… the lovely ladies of Blog Brunch named me the Blogger of the Month, and the incredibly sweet Crystal Gentilello wrote up a little post about the blog too. Suffice to say, preeeeetty rad and I’m very grateful for the kindness of all of the fantastic people hangin’ here on the interwebs. Mega warm squishies. x