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Embrace Imperfection

So. Here I am…

Trudging my way back into the blogging world, hanging my head and already feeling that twinge of shame that comes from missing a deadline.

April 1: blog re-launch. That kinda-sorta-didn’t really happen.

On the surface, it came and went silently. Internally though, I was punishing myself like crazy. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I meet a simple, self-imposed deadline? What does this say about me? About my business? How is everyone going to see me now? Why do I even try? I’m a terrible blogger/internet… person… thing. So much self doubt, so much comparison, so much imperfection. That was a scary word. Imperfection.

It wasn’t lack of want or lack of try that stopped me from meeting my blog relaunch date. It was lack of confidence, a wee bit of laziness (it was an exhausting work-heavy winter), but above all else, it was lack of perfection that was doing me in. My logo isn’t perfect, my layout isn’t perfect, my photography isn’t perfect, my writing isn’t perfect, X Y Z isn’t perfect.

To me, imperfection = failure.

Cue epiphany.

Obviously, this is nothing earth shattering. Much as our brains try to trick us out of it, our common sense tells us we can’t be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. Yet, as a creative, I find myself always pushing myself to my limits to achieve this unattainable status. Especially with this blog. I felt like I had this reputation to live up to, some measure of expectation to be met, and instead of allowing myself to freely create – as this blog was originally intended for – I got scared. That aforementioned common sense? Oh, it kicked in and it shouted at me loud and clear: “you’re not perfect!” But I took it in the wrong way.

The problem here isn’t knowing that perfection is impossible and knowing you can never achieve it, but it’s allowing yourself to happily embrace imperfection and rid it of its negative connotations.

“Imperfect” feels like a negative word. Being imperfect can seem like failure, defeat, like a hole that you never want to emerge from. It was safer, easier, to simply hide than face imperfection.

Right now, this is me declaring my flaws and looking that fear in the face. This is me teaching myself to simply let the journey unfold, cuts and scraps and face plants all the way. Because that’s what this blog is. It’s not a finished product, and it’s not clean and shiny and sparkling. It’s a work in progress. Much like myself. An ever-evolving entity. A moment in time.

This blog may not be the glowing spot of immediate awesomeness I originally envisioned. But that’s okay. I’m happy that it’s not. I’m allowing myself space to breath, to grow, to create and to evolve. And that’s what you can expect from k. 2.0. Me, embracing my sloppy, candid, organic, authentic, disorganised imperfections and not giving three shakes of a lamb’s tail if they’re”good” or “right” or “proper”. Screw that. Imperfection is a positive thing, and something I intend to embrace wholeheartedly going forward.

x


Alice / 03.06.14

Someone once told me that the best artists are those who always struggle with perfection, and anyone who thinks what they have done is perfect is failing. I’m not sure who said that, but they sound rather wise.

Lovely to see you back at your blog my dear. I’m glad you’re not going to let it stress you any more, we will love what ever you post. (Unless shit gets weird, then I’ll have to stop haha :P)

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Kristin B / 03.06.14

Whaddya mean, no weird stuff?! ;) Glad to have the Alice vote of confidence for all the regular stuff. I imagine I’ll be a bit sporadic, and quite random, but that’s just how she goes. It’s ridiculous to let a hobby, something I used to really love and enjoy, control my life like it did before I originally stopped blogging.

I like that wisdom. If it makes me and my neurosis sound better, what’s not to like? ;)

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Danelle / 04.06.14

Yay Kristen is back!!! :D I thought about posting on my blog tonight. But then I was like nahhhhhh. Hahaha. I am a huge supporter of sporadic blogging and not feeling pressured to post a certain amount of times a week, etc. I loved that bit about that quote that Alice commented about. Wise stuff all round. :)

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Kristin B / 08.06.14

High fives for sporadic blogging! I say we just go for it and be the awesomest ever at being super random with posting. ;) x

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Jessica / 04.06.14

Ah, I exactly know that feeling you had with being imperfect. It took me a while to understand and accept that imperfection is something quite normal and I’m glad I did at some point, though it was kind of painful at some time. But I still do have moments where I get into the old habits – it’s really an ongoing thing to accept imperfection. Just don’t stress yourself too much about it! Sounds easy to say, but I know the challenge. :) And, your blog turned out beautiful and very you, I must say!

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Link Love: 6.5.14 | Nubby Twiglet / 05.06.14

[…] • Preach on, sista! Embrace imperfection. […]

Danielle / 05.06.14

I agree wholeheartedly with this post. Imperfection=failure is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. But once I learned to embrace my imperfection, it was freeing and just plain awesome. Glad to see you are back and look forward to when you post next!

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Kristin B / 08.06.14

Thank you for the kind words, Danielle! :) I certainly feel a bit of a weight has been lifted now that I’ve just gone for it and posted this entry. Letting yourself be candid and vulnerable about your shortcomings can really be freeing. Lesson learned! If only I’d realised sooner. x

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Manda / 05.06.14

YAY YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!!!

Perfect is boring. Imperfection is where it’s at!

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Starred this Week / 06.06.14

[…] Love this post on embracing imperfection. […]

Beka / 06.06.14

…you know there’s a reason the Amish leave a ‘mistake’ in their quilts on purpose :)

You should take a look at Keri Smith’s work – her whole evolution was based on the exploration of imperfection as art. That it is our imperfectness that imprints our originality onto our endeavours. We are human. Not machines. We are imperfect beings and can only show up that way in the world.

Dwelling forever in a cycle of seeking perfection does not manifest anything. It’s not so much a need for embracing as it is accepting, allowing and surrendering to the flow that comes with imperfection.

Go gently…

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Kristin B / 08.06.14

I love that! I never knew the Amish purposefully leave errors in their quilts – I imagine that would be such a freeing thing. Thanks for sharing that little tidbit, Beka. I’m certainly going to keep that in mind, and hey, maybe even adopt the practice myself. :)

I’ll certainly look further into Keri Smith’s work too. I’m vaguely familiar with it, but not the ideas behind it, so definitely something I’ll check into. I’m really enjoying digger deeper in this universal obsession with perfection. It’s terrible, really, what unrealistic expectations we’ve set upon ourselves. And the worst part is that even though as a singular person, we know it’s the wrong thing, it’s the collective whole that almost looks down upon airing mistakes, etc. Not everything has to be picture perfect on the surface, and if more people were letting the wild and messy side be shown, I think we’d all sleep a little easier at night.

x

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Bus Reading: 06.09.14 - www.chadieness.com / 09.06.14

[…] Embrace Imperfection. […]

Kya / 12.06.14

I am really sorry to hear that it was such a stressful experience and that you doubted yourself so much. I hope that, like you mentioned you can use this to move forward and not be afraid to share.

I admire everything you do and hope you will continue to share. <3

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Jennifer / 12.06.14

Oh god I’ve been there! For me, it’s so painful that I can imagine perfection, but can’t always (or even often) achieve it! Imperfection feels like loosing something amazing. But you are SO RIGHT. Imperfection is positive and it’s so important to embrace it!

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